2022 started with a thud!

Agastya Sharma
3 min readJan 3, 2022

So we went on a holiday.

Before you start screaming at me that — “AGASTYA THERE’S A VIRUS IN THE AIR WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUTSIDE YOU-smashes keyboard-ARGH”, I had no part in this decision. My parents both decided unanimously that the 1st day of the year could not be spent at home, hence the undivided decision to go for a staycation. Not my fault. Scream at them.

Anyway, we left for Jaypee Greens Spa and Golf Resort in Greater Noida. Now I usually don’t say too much about the hotel or wherever we stayed, because it’s usually more about the holiday itself. But we really didn’t do much other than stay in our room, so.

This is where we wouldn’t want to visit again.

The resort itself is a fairly beautiful property, with a massive golf course. Not that I play golf, but I liked it. The rooms were fairly large and well decorated, and all in all the property itself was brilliant. Now we get to the not so brilliant part.

Oonchi dukaan, pheeka pakwaan

The service we got at Jaypee was not up to the mark, so to speak. We ended up having plenty of problems with the hotel, and hence here I am, writing about those for you.

I tried composing a short poem/diss about the service we got, so here it goes:

Hi, future Agastya here. I’m editing this, and it honestly works better if you imagine I’m wearing a backwards hat and gold chains around my neck, I don’t even know why. Just try. I guess I’m a rapper now.

Our geyser didn’t work in the first room,
The cold water brought about my mother’s doom
Then came the towels that were supremely damp,
This time it was Dad’s turn to cringe and cramp.
We were told high tea was at four,
So we headed for some tea to settle the score.
At Café Resto, we were met with disdain
This new year staycation was less pleasure, more pain.
The steward told us we would get our chai
His eyes were rolled, I wonder why.
Seems the tea was the only thing great,
The faulty heater sealed my mother’s cold fate.
Even the darned electricity was flickering,
With the staff it left us bickering.
The roti was more black than brown
Another reason for us to frown
Like insatiable humans, we spoke of better staycations and nicer times
We lamented our decision and wasted dimes
The morning got no better with a shaky breakfast table
This holiday was fast becoming something of a fable
My movie watching was interrupted at least thrice
Even January 2nd wasn’t looking like anything nice
We packed our bags to my relief
My parents were still wallowing in grief
I looked forward to some cricket and friends now that the ordeal was done
‘Coz this staycation at Jaypee has changed our definition of fun!

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Agastya Sharma

A random nerd who reviews books and movies, and travels way too much.